Gleeko-L

your unhappy self!

2010-06-30T05:16:00.000-07:00

It’s a common belief that a positive thinking leads to a happier and healthier life.

As children we’re told to smile, to be cheerful and put on a happy face.

As adults we’re told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade out of lemons and to see glasses as half full.

Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part, though… your health can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint… It’s in these moments, when u just want to get real, to drop the act and be your true scared, unhappy self!

Ask out people what they want out of life and the answer is simple: “To be happy”.

Maybe it’s this expectation, the wanting to be happy, that just keeps us from ever getting there.

Maybe the more we try and will ourselves to states of bliss, the more confused we get… to the point where we don't recognize ourselves...
Instead,we just keep smiling…trying like hell to be that happy people we wish we were. Until, eventually it hits us, it’s been there all along… not in our dreams or hopes, but in the known, the comfortable… the familiar.

Blowing kisses...

2010-03-10T06:33:00.000-08:00

Kisses are such simple things…we hardly notice them.

But if we pay them more attention, we’d see, each kiss conveys a meaning on its own.

For example, some can say “I'm so happy to see you” or “I didn’t realize you’d be here!” or “what the hell are you doing here”. The trick is in knowing how to tell the difference.

Yeah…kisses mean different things, for different people.

Ultimately, the meaning depends on the one who does the kissing…and the one who sees it happen!

The act itself never varies, but each kiss carries with it a meaning on its own … eternal devotion, enormous regret, growing concern, flaming passion…

But whatever its meaning, each kiss, reflects a basic human need… the need to connect with the other.

This desire is so strong…but it’s always amazing when some people… don't understand it!

Sweet Accidents...

2010-03-10T05:50:00.000-08:00

Some people are detail-oriented.

We like statistics and check list and great cases.

Our lives thrive because we enjoy following the steps.

But, as much as we’d love to always rely on the numbers, the plan, we also know that some of the great achievements in our lives have happened by “accident”.
Your first kiss, discovering fire, your first lover, discovering theory of gravity...

It’s always hard to accept that, it’s not always the hard work or attention to details that will get us the answers that we need.

But sometimes we just have to sit back, relax and wait for the happy accident.

No matter how many plans we make or steps we follow, we never know how our day is going to end up. We would prefer to know, of course, what curved balls are being thrown in our way, but … it’s the accidents that turn out to be the most interesting part of our day, of our life.

The people we never expected to show up, the turn of the event we have never chosen to ourselves … all in the sudden, we find ourselves in a place we never expected to be and…whether it’s nice or…it takes time to get used to. Still, you know you are going to find yourself appreciating it, somewhere in the middle.

So go through each night thinking about tomorrow, going over your plans, preparing the lists… and hoping that whatever accidents come to your way will be happy ones.

Romeo and Juliet

2009-11-26T09:26:00.000-08:00

In the 8th grade, my class had to read “Romeo and Juliet”, then for extra credit, our teacher made us act all the parts.

Bruno Santos was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet.

All the other girls were jealous, but I had a slightly different take.

I told my teacher that Juliet was an idiot.
For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can’t have, then she blames fate for her own bad decision.

My teacher explained me later that, when fate comes in to play, choices sometimes go out the window.

At the right age of 14 I was very clear that love, like life, is about making choices… and fate has nothing to do with it!

Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could know it on front, maybe it could all be ok.

I told my teacher, when I grow up I’d take fate into my own hands. I wouldn’t let some guy drag me down.

My teacher said, I’d be lucky if I had that kind of passion for someone and if I did we’d be together forever.

Even now I believe Love, most of the times, it’s about choices.
It’s about putting out the poison and the adaga and make your own happy ending…well, most of the times.

And sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway!

The Game!

2009-11-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

They say, a person either has what it takes to play,or they don't.

He’s gonna be one of the greatest… me on the other hand…I'm kind of screwed!

Welcome to the game!

I can’t think about any wise reason why I wanted to a lawyer, but I can think about a thousand reasons why I should quit.

They make it hard on purpose. There are important things in our hands.

There comes a moment when its more than just a game… or either you take that step forward or turn around and walk away.

I could quit, but here’s the thing…I love the playing field!

Pain...

2009-11-17T07:31:00.000-08:00

Pain comes in all forms.

The small itch, palpitations, random pain…The normal pain, we live through every day! And there’s the kind of pain you can’t ignore .A level of pain that it’s so great that it locks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away! Until all we can think about is how much we’re hurt!

How we manage our pain, it depends on ourselves.

Pain!
We anesthetize, embrace it, and ignore it.

And for some of us, the best way to manage pain it’s just pushing trough it!

Pain!

You just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that causes it to you heals!

There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breathe deep and wait for it to calm down.

Most of the time, pain can be managed, but sometimes pain gets you when you least expected!
Its way below the belt and doesn’t breath out!

Pain!

You just have to pass the way through because, the truth is, you can’t outrun it and life will always create more pain.

Well...here it goes a vid to ease ur pain...

Ponto de Luz,by Sara Tavares

Sorry...

2009-10-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were little and, accidently, bite a kid in the playground?

Our teachers would say: “Say you are sorry!” and you would say it, but, you wouldn’t mean it. Because, that stupid, kid totally deserved it.

As grownups we can’t undo our mistakes and we rarely forgive ourselves for them, but its hazard of the trade. But as human beings, we can try to do better, to be better, to right the wrong even when it feels irreversible.

Of course “I'm sorry” doesn’t always cut it. Maybe, because we use it in so many different ways, as a weapon, as an excuse…

But when we are really sorry, when we use it right, when we mean it… actions say what words can’t explain.

When we get it right, “I’m sorry” it’s perfect.

When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is redemption.

Fresh Starts

2009-09-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the calendar they happen every year! Just set your watch to January!
Our reward for surviving a Holliday Season is a New Year, bringing on the great tradition of New Year’s resolutions.

Put your past behind U and start over.

Its hard to resist the chance of a new beginning, a chance to put the problems, of last year, to bed.

But...

Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins?

Its not a day on the calendar, not a birthday, not a new year.

It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us.

Ideally, it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world.
Letting go of old habits, old memories… What’s important it’s that we never stop believing that we can have a new beginning.

But it’s also important to remember that in the middle of all that "old" the mess, there are a few things really worth holding on too.

Some things!..

2009-09-16T16:31:00.000-07:00

Communication is the real first thing U learn in life.

But the thing is: once you grow up, learn words and really start talking, the harder becomes to know what to say or how to ask for what you really need.

At the end of the day…there's just some things you just can’t help talking about,…somethings we just don't want to hear and somethings we say because we can't be silent anylonger… some things are more than whtat you say… they are what tou do!

Some things you say because there's no other choice…some other things you keep to yourfself...

And not too often but every now and then, some things simply speak trhough themselves.

This is it!

2009-08-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

When something begins, you generally, have no idea of how it’s going to end.
The house you were going to leave becomes your home; the roommates you were forced to take, become your best friends and the only person you were determined to forget, becomes the love of your life.
We spend our all life worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future… as if figuring it out somehow it catches the blow.
But the future is always changing; the future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes.
But one thing is certain… when it finally reveals itself, the future, is never the way we imagined it!
we spend a lot of time focus on the future, planning it, working for it, but, at some point we start to realize our life is happening now. Not after college, not after law offices … right now. This is it! It’s here. Blink and you’ll miss it!
Did you say it, “I love you”, “I don't ever want to live without you”, “you changed my life”? Did you say it?
Make a plan. Set a goal. Work for it. But every now and then, look around…interiorize it. Because… this is it!

Climb

2009-08-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

"I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on..."

Doesn't this make so much sense? ;)

Half full

2009-07-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

I had an ant whom, whenever she poured anything for you, she would say: “Say when!”, and of course, we never did!

We don’t say when because there’s something about the possibility of more!
More tequila, more love, more anything…more is better!

There’s something to be said about a glass half full, about knowing when to say “when”…I think it’s a floating line, a barometer of need and desire. It’s entirely up to the individual…and depends on what’s being poured.

Sometimes all we want is a little taste. Other times, there’s no such thing as “enough”. The glass is bottomless. And all we want … is more!

Surrendering...

2009-07-15T05:59:00.001-07:00

Defeat isn’t an option.

Not for survivors.

We don’t back away from the run until the last breath is taken.
Terminals is a challenge, life frightening is what should get us off bed in the morning.

We are not easily intimidated, we don't flitch, we don't back down and we certainly don't surrender. Well, not in public...anyway!

To keep going… we have to believe defeat is not an option. That no matter how tired we get, there still hope.
But even when our hopes give away to reality, and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we’ve lost today’s battle, not tomorrow’s war.

Here’s a thing about surrendering, once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were even fighting in the first place.

Dependence

2009-07-05T13:56:00.000-07:00

Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere, except to a fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others and…Maybe yourself.

On the other side, emotional dependence is like a bonfire that we light.

At first, relationships are difficult.

In the same way that to light a fire, you get the smelly smoke, which makes it hard to breathe, and causes tears rolling down your face.

However, once the fire is a light, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us, spreading warm, serenity, and sometimes an ember pop out and you get burned, but that’s what makes a relationship interesting, right?

Everybody has a shadow...

2009-06-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

Every person I know has a shadow.

A dark cloud of fear and doubt, that follows, even the best of us, to our safe and secret place.

We pretend that the shadow isn’t there.
Hoping that if we run faster and farther, it will get tired and stop chasing us. But like they say: “you can’t outrun your shadow”.

Every person has a shadow.

And the only way to get rid of the shadow, it’s to turn off the lights, to stop running from the darkness and face what you fear, head on!

The stuff of dreams...

2009-06-17T15:18:00.001-07:00

We all remember the bed time stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella, the frog turns into a charming prince, sleeping beauty is awaken with a kiss.
“Once upon a time… and then they lived happily ever after”.
Fairy tales, the stuff of dreams!
The problem is, fairy tales don't come true. It’s the other stories…the ones that begins with dark stormy night and ending… unspeakable!
It’s the nightmares that always seem to become reality.
The person who invented the phrase “happily ever after” should have his ass kicked so hard.
“Once upon a time… happily ever after”!The stories we tell are the stuff of dreams.
Fairy tales don't come true.
Reality is much stormy, much murkier, much scarier.
Reality is much more interesting than happily ever after.

The self destruct button!!

2009-05-29T11:21:00.000-07:00

Ok, to anyone who says U can sleep when U die… tell them to come talk to me, after a few months studyng day and night!
Of course, it’s just not the studying that keeps us up all night…

I mean… if life is so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What’s up with the need to hit on the self destruct button?

Maybe, we like the pain, maybe we’re made that way… because without it… I don’t know, maybe we just wouldn’t feel real.

What’s that saying? “Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop”!

Denial...

2009-05-19T07:37:00.000-07:00

The key to survive this life is denial.
U deny that we’re tired, we deny that we’re scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed and most importantly, we deny that we’re in denial.

We only see what we wanna see and believe what we want to believe. And it works!
We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like they’re true!
We deny so much that we can’t recognize the truth right in front of our faces!
But,sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and bites us in the ass, and then burst, the only thing U can do is swim. The world of “pretending” is a cage not a cocoon.
We can’t only lie to ourselves for so long.

We are scared, we are tired… denying it doesn’t change the truth!
Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial… and face the world, head on, guns blazing!

Denial…it’s not just a river, it’s a freaking ocean!
So, how do U keep from drowning in it?

Once in a while...

2009-05-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

You know, how when U were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales?
That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, prince charming would carry you away to a castle on the hill. U’d lye in bed at night, and closed your eyes and you had complete and total faith.
Santa claus, the tooth fairy…they were so close, you could taste them. But, eventually you grow up!
One day, you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.
Most people turn into the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day, they’ll open their eyes and it would all come true.
At the end of the day, faith…is a funny thing.
It turns up when U don’t really expected. It’s like, one day you realize that the fairy tale, may be slightly different from the way you dreamed.
The castle, well, it may not be a castle and it’s not that important that its “happy ever after”, just that it’s happy right now.
See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And, once in a while, people may even take your breath away!

Adulthood!

2009-05-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

Remember when U’re a kid and your biggest worry was if you’re getting a new bike for Christmas or if you get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult, totally overrated!!
I mean, seriously, don’t be fooled by the nice heels shows and great sex and no parents anymore telling U what to do.
Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility it really does suck!
Adults have to be at places, do things, earn a living and pay the rent… and if you’re training to be a lawyer, having someone’s life in your hands… hello!!! Talking about responsibility!! Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn’t it?
Unfortunately, once U get pass the age of brasses and training bras, responsibility doesn’t go away! It can’t be avoided. Either someone makes U face it or we suffer the consequences. An still, adulthood has its perks. I mean the shoes, the sex, the parents not telling U what to do, and that’s pretty damn good!

It's all about lines...

2009-05-01T06:05:00.000-07:00

It’s all about lines… the finish line at the end of the college, waiting in line for a chance at the court, and then, there’s the most important line: the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn’t help to get too familiar, to make friends, you need boundaries between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy.
It’s all about lines! Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them!
But...at some point, you have to make decisions… boundaries don’t keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that’s how we’re made.
So, you can waste your life drawing lines… or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines, that are way too dangerous to cross!
Here’s what I know: if you’re willing to take the chance, the view from the other side it’s spectacular!

"Intimacy..."

2009-04-28T16:54:00.000-07:00

“Intimacy” it’s a four syllables word for “here are my heart and soul, please try to make them a hamburger and enjoy”! It’s both desired and feared, difficult to live with, and impossible to live without.
Intimacy also comes attached with life three “R’s”: relatives, romance and roommates! There are some things U can’t escape and some other things you just don’t wanna know!
I wish there were a rule book for intimacy, some kind of a guide, that could tell when U crossed the line. It would be nice if U could see it coming. I don’t know how we fit it on the map. U take it where U can get it and keep it as long as U can. And how’s for rules? Well, maybe there are none… Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Secrets

2009-04-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

Secrets can’t hide in law, lawyers have their way to expose the lies, within the walls of a court, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the court doors, well… That’s a little different!
One thing is certain: whatever it is that we’re trying to hide, we’re never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked! That’s the problem with secrets, like misery, they love company! They pile up and up, until they take over everything! Until U don’t have room for anything else. Until you’re so full of secrets that U feel like you’re going to burst.
The thing people forget it’s how good it can feel when we finally set secrets free! Whether good or bad, at least they’re out in the open, like it or not.
And once your secrets are out in the open and you just don’t have to hide behind them anymore.
The problem with secrets is, even when U think U’re in control, U’re not.

What if tomorrow never comes...

2009-04-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world his secret to success: “Never leave that ‘till tomorrow, what you can do today”!
This is the man who discovered electricity!! It was expected that more of us, would listened what he said!
I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I would say it has a lot to do with fear! Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision. Because…what if U’re wrong? What if U’re making a mistake U can’t undo?
Whatever it is that we’re afraid of, one thing holds true: at by the time the pain of not doing anything gets worse than the fear of doing it, it could feel like we’re caring a huge weight on our backs.
We can’t pretend we haven’t been told, we’ve all eared the proverbs , eared the philosophers, eared our grandparents, warning us about waste of time, eared the damn poets telling us to cease the day. Still, sometimes we have to see for ourselves.
We have to make our own mistakes, we have to learn our own lessons, we have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and that even the biggest failure, the worst mistakes beats the hell of never trying.